Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

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Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby SEG » Wed Jun 06, 2018 11:22 pm

I wonder how many of his flock became instant atheists after this tragic event? Crocodile Kills Pastor
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Wed Jun 06, 2018 11:30 pm

Well.................. I dunno. Way before I would wonder about the Grace of God re alligator attacks, I would question why I was born in Africa?

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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby scrmbldggs » Thu Jun 07, 2018 2:20 am

I bet a few of the attendees came really close to holiness and walking on water...
.

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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Thu Jun 07, 2018 2:31 am

Right on Eggs: everyone not eaten had definite proof of Gods Love.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Gord » Thu Jun 07, 2018 5:48 am

Probably one of those ungodly crocodiles.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Matthew Ellard » Thu Jun 07, 2018 6:54 am

Gord wrote:Probably one of those ungodly crocodiles.


The pastor was Protestant. I'm pretty sure the crocodile was Catholic. It felt guilty all the time. :D

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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Thu Jun 07, 2018 10:07 am

♫Gator got your granny♫
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Aztexan » Sun Jun 10, 2018 7:12 am

What a crocoshit
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:22 am

You know................once while transiting Ethiopia, I was invited to go on a field trip to observe parrots. I declined as having drank too much at the Haile Selassie Bar at the Hilton Hotel. Nothing bad happened, but it was reported a month later that a tourist who would have been much like myself only much more alert and nimble, was taken at the rivers edge by a crock.

........................... Its why I drink. God protects me.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Aztexan » Sun Jun 10, 2018 5:59 pm

My daddy always told me, he said, "Boy! Always check for beehives before you go stickin your pecker in a knothole" and to this day I've never been eaten by a croc but I have had my pecker stung 4 times in my lifetime.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby scrmbldggs » Sun Jun 10, 2018 6:10 pm

bobbo_the_Pragmatist wrote:You know................once while transiting Ethiopia, I was invited to go on a field trip to observe parrots. I declined as having drank too much at the Haile Selassie Bar at the Hilton Hotel. Nothing bad happened, but it was reported a month later that a tourist who would have been much like myself only much more alert and nimble, was taken at the rivers edge by a crock.

........................... Its why I drink. God protects me.

Amazing how heated those old guys can be. :-P
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Sun Jun 10, 2018 6:15 pm

So, they finally found a {!#%@}?
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby SEG » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:05 am

It may have been a health conscious croc? After all, he ate the only one of them that was pastorised.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:16 am

Aztexan wrote:My daddy always told me, he said, "Boy! Always check for beehives before you go stickin your pecker in a knothole" and to this day I've never been eaten by a croc but I have had my pecker stung 4 times in my lifetime.

They are called "Knot Holes" for a reason. Jeebus weeps.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby JO 753 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:36 am

Am I going to Hell kuz I think this iz funny?
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby SEG » Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:21 pm

JO 753 wrote:Am I going to Hell kuz I think this iz funny?

Nah, this is one for the Darwin Awards, Jo
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Austin Harper » Tue Jul 17, 2018 5:54 pm

Sounds like the crocodiles have been reading some X-Files comics.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Upton_O_Goode » Thu Aug 02, 2018 11:28 am

SEG wrote:I wonder how many of his flock became instant atheists after this tragic event? Crocodile Kills Pastor


Don't know, but (God, forgive me if you exist!) I think there is something irresistibly funny about this. I haven't laughed so hard since the corpse of the Ayatollah Khomeini got torn into little bitty pieces by his ardent followers.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Upton_O_Goode » Thu Aug 02, 2018 11:28 am

SEG wrote:It may have been a health conscious croc? After all, he ate the only one of them that was pastorised.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Upton_O_Goode » Thu Aug 02, 2018 11:31 am

scrmbldggs wrote:I bet a few of the attendees came really close to holiness and walking on water...


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Stop, you're killing me. The comic potential here is just too great. It all reminds me of the most famous episode from the old Mary Tyler Moore series, the one in which Chuckles the Clown gets trampled by a rogue elephant in a parade because he's wearing his Mr. Peanut costume, and the elephant tried to shell him.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Thu Aug 02, 2018 11:40 am

"See ya later, alligator!"

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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Poodle » Thu Aug 02, 2018 12:59 pm

SEG wrote:It may have been a health conscious croc? After all, he ate the only one of them that was pastorised.

I've only just noticed this. It's so excruciatingly bad that it's brilliant. :lol:

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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby landrew » Thu Aug 02, 2018 2:36 pm

We don't know for sure, but it appears that the pastor expected some sort of divine protection from hungry crocodiles known to infest those waters. That would be a violation of free will on the part of the crocodile. It was probably quite hungry, and not likely a christian.
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby scrmbldggs » Thu Aug 02, 2018 2:44 pm

One wonders how many of them secretly curse Noah...
.

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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Upton_O_Goode » Thu Aug 02, 2018 7:27 pm

Gawdzilla Sama wrote:"See ya later, alligator!"

"Not without an endoscope!"


To quote Jack Benny, "Now CUT THAT OUT!!" The comic potential here is too rich to be squandered that way.

Like the joke that went around after the David Koresh massacre. "How do you pick up women in Waco?" (Ans: With a dust-buster.)
"Musica est exercitium arithmeticae occultum nescientis se numerare animi." (Music is a mysterious exercise of the numerical art by a mind that does not realize it is counting.)

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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby landrew » Thu Aug 02, 2018 7:28 pm

Upton_O_Goode wrote:
Like the joke that went around after the David Koresh massacre. "How do you pick up women in Waco?" (Ans: With a dust-buster.)

You cut that out!
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Re: Crocodile Kills Pastor During Mass Baptisms

Postby Upton_O_Goode » Thu Aug 02, 2018 10:06 pm

landrew wrote:
Upton_O_Goode wrote:
Like the joke that went around after the David Koresh massacre. "How do you pick up women in Waco?" (Ans: With a dust-buster.)

You cut that out!


:lol: :lol:
"Musica est exercitium arithmeticae occultum nescientis se numerare animi." (Music is a mysterious exercise of the numerical art by a mind that does not realize it is counting.)

Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz (1646--1716), in a letter of April 17, 1712 to Christian Goldbach (1690--1764)


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