Gross hospital stories.

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Gawdzilla Sama
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Gross hospital stories.

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Mon May 14, 2018 7:33 pm

I reported to a local hospital Tuesday with a rock hard, distended abdomen. They didn't want to induce vomiting because it could cause cardiac arrest. So I sat around the hospital for three days. Then I started vomiting. Apparently this is legit vomiting because they didn't give me anything to stop it. I had, by that point, been constipated for eight days and SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN SOON. However, I was tethered to the bed by the "don't get up alarms". When I started vomiting I knew what was going to happen next and buzzed for the nurse. She was ... slow. So I got up and headed for the loo, setting off more alarms than Ru Paul in the White House. The nurse dashed in and stopped me.

"We can't have you just getting up like that!"

"Okay, how about this way?" I then shoved my pajamas down and splashed {!#%@} all over the room on the way to the shitter. (I have a defective anal sphincter, so I can't hold it for very long.) Nine days worth of stored material came out in waves. I heard comments from outside the toilet like "Where was he storing all that!"

Anyway, I never saw the obstructive nurse again.
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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Mon May 14, 2018 7:58 pm

No bed pan? If you aren't exaggerating certain timing issues....seems to me shitting in the bed would be the best combo of necessity yet respect for those who have to clean up.

A clear explanation voids claims of retaliation.
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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Mon May 14, 2018 8:04 pm

I was "splashing" the toilet. Real hydraulic pipe cleaning in progress. I could also clearing see evidence of a Subway sandwich I had eaten days before.

All in a bright yellow "matrix".
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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Mon May 14, 2018 8:18 pm

Depending on how you define it......I'm in very good health........but.......what I consider wrong, or could be better, and that I never had that in my youth: everything wrong with me can be covered by a high waisted swim suit. Easier to clean out too..............
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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Mon May 14, 2018 9:33 pm

I have no idea what you're talking about.
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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby TJrandom » Mon May 14, 2018 9:44 pm

You should have started with Coke - I hear it works wonders as a drain cleaner.

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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Mon May 14, 2018 9:49 pm

TJrandom wrote:You should have started with Coke - I hear it works wonders as a drain cleaner.

I prefer smack.
Chachacha wrote:"Oh, thweet mythtery of wife, at waft I've found you!"

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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby scrmbldggs » Mon May 14, 2018 10:24 pm

Gawdzilla Sama wrote:...see evidence of a Subway sandwich I had eaten days before...

It was the wrapper, wasn't it? :-P
.

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Gawdzilla Sama
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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Mon May 14, 2018 10:44 pm

scrmbldggs wrote:
Gawdzilla Sama wrote:...see evidence of a Subway sandwich I had eaten days before...

It was the wrapper, wasn't it? :-P

No, Jared's face on the wrapper.
Chachacha wrote:"Oh, thweet mythtery of wife, at waft I've found you!"

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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby scrmbldggs » Mon May 14, 2018 10:49 pm

I know you wanna gross us out, but I've dealt with that kind of {!#%@} before. :-P
.

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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Mon May 14, 2018 11:51 pm

Gross..........I used to work in Hospitals. Acute as well as Nursing. I still remember the first time I found out about: "fecal projectile vomiting." Its a real thing. {!#%@} does back up.....and find its way out, just as the label says.

There is no courageous fighting death to the very end. Just a grizzly slow decline.

ymmv.
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Gawdzilla Sama
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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Tue May 15, 2018 12:04 am

No {!#%@}.
Chachacha wrote:"Oh, thweet mythtery of wife, at waft I've found you!"

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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Tue May 15, 2018 12:43 am

Gross in a financial/safety net sort of way. The Emergency Room is touted as the safety net for healthcare: available to all to care for life threatening condition or to alleviate severe pain. Only when "stable" can the patient be asked about ability to pay for the care or to be discharged from the Hospital.

Sounds good right?

Well......."Taxi Cab Discharge" take place when no family members are available to take the patient home....so...taxi's are called to take them to ..........whereever. Even that sounds "acceptable" until you learn that patients LEGALLY can be discharged 3 days after ER admittance due to gunshots to the head ...etc. No longer at risk of "immediate" death and under medication for the pain: so: "Stable for Discharge"...and they are. Come back if you need pain management.

Yes...each element of the situation varies and people disagree about what is what and hospitals often are more lenient at the beginning of their fiscal years.

Needing healthcare without insurance: can really suck.
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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby Gord » Tue May 15, 2018 1:54 pm

Gawdzilla Sama wrote:Anyway, I never saw the obstructive nurse again.

Probably left in a flush.
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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby TJrandom » Wed May 16, 2018 6:42 am

9 yucks nurses deal with... I assume this was put together as a recruitment tool. ;)

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Re: Gross hospital stories.

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Wed May 16, 2018 7:07 am

Nurses "organize" to avoid the yuck duties as much as possible and think it is below their evolving expertise. Its Nurses Aides who can be hired off the street that are given these duties as much as possible.
Real Name: bobbo the existential pragmatic evangelical anti-theist and Class Warrior.
Asking: What is the most good for the most people?
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