My Time Amongst the Humans

User avatar
Gord
Obnoxious Weed
Posts: 32218
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:44 am
Custom Title: Silent Ork
Location: Transcona

My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by Gord » Mon Jul 09, 2018 3:08 am

Experiment #22796 - Coffee.

Abstract
Coffee is one of the most popular beverages among humans. Its stimulatory effects comes from the natural alkaloid, caffeine. Caffeine is the antagonist of the adenosine receptors A1 and A2. Caffeine acts chronotropic positive and increases heart action; inotropic positive and increases cardiac contraction; tronotropic positive and increases hearts muscular ton, brain's vascular stenosis, vasodilatation of coronal vessels, renal vessels, muscular vessels and skin vessels. The aim of the study was to determine whether humans prefer weak coffee, medium-strength coffee, or strong coffee.

MATERIAL AND METHODS:
Eight healthy subjects (age 30-88 years; median 44 years) were used. There were twelve experiments, in which coffee was brewed using increasing amounts of finely ground beans. After tasting, each participant was asked to rank the coffee as either "weak", "medium", or "strong". The subjects were then exposed to 30 millisieverts of alpha radiation, just for fun.

RESULTS:
People could rarely agree. In only one experiment did all eight subjects rate the coffee as "weak", and in only one experiment did all eight rate the coffee as "strong". The subjects also took it upon themselves to create a new ranking system, which included "weak", "medium-weak", "medium", "medium-strong", "strong", and "too strong ugh yuck". However, none of the participants ever ranked any of the coffee samples as "medium". Furthermore, one subject's "strong" coffee was another subject's "weak" coffee, indicating a disparity of four ranks in a six-rank system of their own creation.

CONCLUSIONS:
No two people could agree on the "best strength" for coffee. However, all agreed that being exposed to alpha radiation for my personal amusement was upsetting to them. The only conclusive finding with regard to the actual experiment was that "medium" coffee does not appear to be possible, since it was not found within the range from weak to super-strong despite the use of 12 experiments with coffee brewed using gradually increasing amounts of fine ground beans.

Recommendations
Kill all humans? :pardon:
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
Is Trump in jail yet?

User avatar
Io
Poster
Posts: 243
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 3:56 am

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by Io » Mon Jul 09, 2018 3:22 am

I suggest that scientists be put to work right now mass-breeding the future generations from those who dislike coffee.
I dislike coffee.

User avatar
Poodle
Has More Than 9K Posts
Posts: 9780
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:12 pm
Custom Title: Regular sleeper
Location: NE corner of my living room

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by Poodle » Mon Jul 09, 2018 7:44 am

I despise tea (and tomato soup).

User avatar
Gawdzilla Sama
Real Skeptic
Posts: 22169
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:11 am
Custom Title: Deadly but evil.

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Mon Jul 09, 2018 10:32 am

Any coffee that can't make it into your cup on it's own power wouldn't rate higher than "medium" in the USN.
Chachacha wrote:"Oh, thweet mythtery of wife, at waft I've found you!"
WWII Resources. Primary sources.
The Myths of Pearl Harbor. Demythologizing the attack.
Hyperwar. Hypertext history of the Second World War.
The greatest place to work in the entire United States.

User avatar
OlegTheBatty
Has No Life
Posts: 11302
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:35 pm
Custom Title: Uppity Atheist

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by OlegTheBatty » Mon Jul 09, 2018 6:09 pm

The methodology is flawed. The alpha radiation introduces a possible confounding factor. The source and strength of the radiation needs to be varied to try and determine its effect, if any, on the coffee strength determination. For all we know, a coffee drinker subjected to strong gamma radiation might rate all coffees as medium.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

bobbo_the_Pragmatist
Has No Life
Posts: 14872
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2015 9:39 am
Custom Title: bobbo da existential pragmatist

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Mon Jul 09, 2018 7:58 pm

I can't make a cup of coffee too strong. I'm actually adding instant to espresso now. Need to reset my taste buds, go to tea for a few months. This helps, but the acclimation times are getting shorter and shorter. To be fair: it the brew becomes more like "Turkish Coffee" so that one is actually slurping up the grounds....that is too strong....or maybe I just don't like grit in my Joe? I mean, I'm not camping....
Real Name: bobbo the existential pragmatic evangelical anti-theist and Class Warrior.
Asking: What is the most good for the most people?
Sample Issue: Should the Feds provide all babies with free diapers?

User avatar
Gord
Obnoxious Weed
Posts: 32218
Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:44 am
Custom Title: Silent Ork
Location: Transcona

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by Gord » Mon Jul 09, 2018 9:46 pm

OlegTheBatty wrote:The methodology is flawed. The alpha radiation introduces a possible confounding factor. The source and strength of the radiation needs to be varied to try and determine its effect, if any, on the coffee strength determination. For all we know, a coffee drinker subjected to strong gamma radiation might rate all coffees as medium.
If it wasn't flawed, it wouldn't be fun!
bobbo_the_Pragmatist wrote:I can't make a cup of coffee too strong.
You and my brother. This is why "coffee" is just a subjective term for "tainted water"!

Stoopid hoomans.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
#ANDAMOVIE
Is Trump in jail yet?

User avatar
Gawdzilla Sama
Real Skeptic
Posts: 22169
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:11 am
Custom Title: Deadly but evil.

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:27 am

The second "Nightmare on Elm St." started with the sole survivor from the first movie making a model of the "haunted house". As she's working on it she casually reaches over and grabs a jar of instant coffee, scoops up a soup spoon full, and just drops that in her mouth, followed by a sip of water.

She would have made passable pit snipe.
Chachacha wrote:"Oh, thweet mythtery of wife, at waft I've found you!"
WWII Resources. Primary sources.
The Myths of Pearl Harbor. Demythologizing the attack.
Hyperwar. Hypertext history of the Second World War.
The greatest place to work in the entire United States.

User avatar
mirror93
Poster
Posts: 467
Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 5:06 pm

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by mirror93 » Tue Jul 10, 2018 6:44 pm

woomans
:paladin:

bobbo_the_Pragmatist
Has No Life
Posts: 14872
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2015 9:39 am
Custom Title: bobbo da existential pragmatist

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Tue Jul 10, 2018 9:53 pm

Gord wrote:
bobbo_the_Pragmatist wrote:I can't make a cup of coffee too strong.
You and my brother. This is why "coffee" is just a subjective term for "tainted water"!
To be fair, I've always had milk and sugar in it. Dear Old Dad used to say if you put anything into coffee, you actually don't like coffee and you aren't drinking coffee. That's definitional....and fine with me. I can drink plain coffee, I just prefer the additions....so why not? I like catsup on hot dogs too. Mom and Dad allowed us kiddies to drink coffee with them at breakfast. don't know what Mom thought, but Dear Old Dad said stunting my growth would be good for me. He was perverse that way. I still recall the concerned response I got at elementary school when asking for coffee during the tray line...………...
Real Name: bobbo the existential pragmatic evangelical anti-theist and Class Warrior.
Asking: What is the most good for the most people?
Sample Issue: Should the Feds provide all babies with free diapers?

User avatar
Lance Kennedy
Has No Life
Posts: 11703
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:20 pm
Custom Title: Super Skeptic
Location: Paradise, New Zealand

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by Lance Kennedy » Wed Jul 18, 2018 1:42 am

Obviously strong coffee causes pessimism.

bobbo_the_Pragmatist
Has No Life
Posts: 14872
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2015 9:39 am
Custom Title: bobbo da existential pragmatist

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:06 am

Ha, ha….lance!!!!! You are holding to a theme. Good boy.
Real Name: bobbo the existential pragmatic evangelical anti-theist and Class Warrior.
Asking: What is the most good for the most people?
Sample Issue: Should the Feds provide all babies with free diapers?

User avatar
Austin Harper
Has More Than 5K Posts
Posts: 5196
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:22 pm
Custom Title: Rock Chalk Astrohawk
Location: Detroit

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by Austin Harper » Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:03 pm

Gord wrote:Recommendations
Kill all humans?
Congratulations! Your follow-up experiment has been approved pending funding allocation.
Dum ratio nos ducet, valebimus et multa bene geremus.

User avatar
Gawdzilla Sama
Real Skeptic
Posts: 22169
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:11 am
Custom Title: Deadly but evil.

Re: My Time Amongst the Humans

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:38 pm

Austin Harper wrote:
Gord wrote:Recommendations
Kill all humans?
Congratulations! Your follow-up experiment has been approved pending funding allocation.
Pay back, bitches!

Image
Chachacha wrote:"Oh, thweet mythtery of wife, at waft I've found you!"
WWII Resources. Primary sources.
The Myths of Pearl Harbor. Demythologizing the attack.
Hyperwar. Hypertext history of the Second World War.
The greatest place to work in the entire United States.