Bad Reviews

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Upton_O_Goode
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Bad Reviews

Post by Upton_O_Goode » Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:38 pm

I recall reading a whole book of these at one time. The reviewers sometimes get off some good lines, such as "This is not a book to be lightly set aside. It should be hurled with great force."

Here are two I read recently, both tossed off by P.G. Wodehouse in various books:

"It was a book I simply couldn't put down. Because I had never picked it up."

"I saw the play under very unfavorable circumstances. The curtain was up."

And, one other from Wodehouse, though not a review:

"It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine."
"We survivors did not seek death. We did not take to the streets when our Jewish friends were taken away. We didn’t raise an outcry until we ourselves were being annihilated. We preferred to remain alive, with the flimsy though accurate excuse that our death would not have helped. We are guilty of being alive."

Karl Jaspers (1883–1968), at the re-opening of Heidelberg University, 1945

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Gord
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Re: Bad Reviews

Post by Gord » Sat Feb 11, 2017 6:12 pm

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"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"Imagine an ennobling of what could be" -- the New Age BS Generator site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
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Is Trump in jail yet?

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Nobrot
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Re: Bad Reviews

Post by Nobrot » Sat Feb 11, 2017 7:09 pm

Kristen Stewart: the worst actress in the solar system.

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Re: Bad Reviews

Post by Matthew Ellard » Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:34 pm

Nobrot wrote:Kristen Stewart: the worst actress in the solar system.
Nope. That would be Elle Macpherson, the Aussie model who tried to become an actress. "Wooden as a fence post" :D

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OlegTheBatty
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Re: Bad Reviews

Post by OlegTheBatty » Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:49 pm

Some more reviews.

I was going to write "I've never seen Elle MacPherson act", but I realized it would be ambiguous. Also, not true. I recall she was in something My ex and I watched together. Her acting was neither good enough to recall, nor bad enough to remark on at the time. The movie was 'meh' too.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

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Re: Bad Reviews

Post by Matthew Ellard » Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:08 pm

OlegTheBatty wrote:I was going to write "I've never seen Elle MacPherson act", but I realized it would be ambiguous. Also, not true. I recall she was in something My ex and I watched together. Her acting was neither good enough to recall, nor bad enough to remark on at the time. The movie was 'meh' too.


Aussies & Kiwis have to learn to talk in an English and American dialect to get overseas film work. Some people like Geoffrey Rush and Russell Crowe can do this with ease. For Elle Macpherson delivering lines, it sounds like someone's first words, coming out of a coma, who suffers a severe speech impediment. :D

Then again, Johnny Depp flipped the coin for Pirates of the Caribbean by adopting the dialect of a drunk Australian.

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Re: Bad Reviews

Post by Poodle » Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:12 pm

That would be just Australian, then.