The Corrupted Wish Game

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Wed Jul 17, 2013 3:56 am

Daedalus wrote:I wish that for every crazy that drops away from this and other sites, a dozen more didn't show up.

Since your wish violates the mathematics of the universe, as soon as I grant it, all the rules change and more crazies start showing up.

I wish I hadn't wasted the last six hours on the internet when I should have been doing my paperwork for Friday.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:54 am

Granted. You wasted ten hours instead.


I wish I could go ahead and drive home, now, without everyone thinking I'm an {!#%@} for being in such a hurry. I could be home by 9:30, and still have my day ahead of me to do stuff.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby cartiii » Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:50 am

Granted! You came home at 9:30 and found your wife in bed with another man.

I wish i haven't insulted fromthehills with statement abouve. :)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Austin Harper » Thu Oct 24, 2013 5:35 pm

Oh, I forgot about this game!

Granted, fromthehills was insulted by the tardiness of your reply, not by your reply itself.

I wish it was a bit sunnier out.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Thu Oct 24, 2013 6:49 pm

Granted. The sunnier bit is Granny's butt as she goes running down the street naked again.

I wish I could afford actual Pringles rather than these cheap ripoffs.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sat Oct 26, 2013 3:16 am

Granted. And you soon realize that they're the same thing, just like your mom told you, just without the high dollar ads. Then you read that the Pringles factory in China shut down, due to only using 2% potato flakes, 75% saw dust, and 23% flavor additives. So you try to switch back to the generic, but find out that they were made in the same factory sans potato flakes. Hence a mystery 2%.


I wish I were stiff in the place I should be, and not everywhere else.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Aztexan » Sat Oct 26, 2013 4:12 am

Granted.

Your morals are now rigid but everything else about you is as limp as a wet noodle.

I wish the weekend was over.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby OlegTheBatty » Sat Oct 26, 2013 4:59 am

Granted. And what a weekend it was! Your marriage to Ann Coulter would have been the highlight, if not for your adoption of Rush Limbaugh.

I wish I could eat my cake and have it too.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sat Oct 26, 2013 1:34 pm

Granted. Your cake is one of those cardboard cakes that strippers pop out of. She's already taken all your money and left, but dig in.

I wish platform shoes would come back, so I could be taller.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Aztexan » Sat Oct 26, 2013 3:01 pm

Granted.

But it doesn't matter how tall you look, you're now laid up in bed after breaking both of your ankles because you forgot how to walk in them.

I wish that in the unfortunate event that the USA should ever elect a republican president or a republican controlled congress, a small minority of democrats follow their example and hold the country hostage by refusing to raise the debt ceiling or pass any other legislation until their demands are met for stricter gun control laws.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Sat Oct 26, 2013 10:39 pm

Granted. Now you live in China.

I wish for a duck.
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby angawawa » Sat Oct 26, 2013 10:56 pm

You have a beautifully crafted taxidermy duck. One of the really pretty ones with multiple colors on the neck, and so easy to care for, none of that funky slimy poop to clean up. Unfortunately, it's has been infected with a new bird flu from the taxidermist sneezing on it so many times.

I won't be greedy. I wish that just maybe 55% of the population acted with decency and, most of all, common sense.
If you keep your mind sufficiently open, people will throw all manner of garbage into it.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Sat Oct 26, 2013 11:21 pm

Granted. Only 55% of the population did that, and only once each.

I wish I had a flu shot for my duck.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sun Oct 27, 2013 12:09 am

Gord wrote:Granted. Only 55% of the population did that, and only once each.

I wish I had a flu shot for my duck.



Granted. Your chimney backs up and the flu shoots soot into your duck as it flies over.


I wish I were tolerant.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Sun Oct 27, 2013 12:15 am

Granted. People bring their children from miles around just so they can climb all over you while you lie there tolerating it.

I wish for some tea.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Aztexan » Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:03 am

Granted.

I throw you to the bottom of the Boston Harbor.

I wish I could kill and fry up Gord's duck for a nice meal.
This is a sentence. tHi5 iz a seN+3nce oN drUgs!!!

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:44 am

Granted. You leap into the harbor to join me for soggy grilled avian flu duck.

I wish my eyes felt better.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:47 am

Gord wrote:Granted. You leap into the harbor to join me for soggy grilled avian flu duck.

I wish my eyes felt better.


Granted, they feel fantastic, unfortunately you feel like day old {!#%@}.

I wish that cigarettes were good for you.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Gord » Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:54 am

Daedalus wrote:I wish that cigarettes were good for you.

Granted. Taken rectally and in bulk, they are an excellent source of fibre.

I wish hair could pick itself up off the floor.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
"Nullius in verba" -- The Royal Society ["take nobody's word for it"]
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby OlegTheBatty » Sun Oct 27, 2013 2:01 am

Granted. Hair can pick itself up from the floor. It can also pick up everything else, including you. It bundles you up and binds you to the ceiling, while it ponders what to do with you.

I wish the duck entree wasn't so full of soot.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Sun Oct 27, 2013 2:15 am

OlegTheBatty wrote:Granted. Hair can pick itself up from the floor. It can also pick up everything else, including you. It bundles you up and binds you to the ceiling, while it ponders what to do with you.

I wish the duck entree wasn't so full of soot.


Granted, it's full of another four letter word beginning with S, and ending with T... bon appetite.

I wish that the Red Sox would win this world series.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sun Oct 27, 2013 10:17 am

Granted. It's just not this world.

I wish I were asleep.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Aztexan » Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:19 pm

Granted.

But the car you're driving swerves into oncoming traffic.

I wish I was awake.
This is a sentence. tHi5 iz a seN+3nce oN drUgs!!!

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby OlegTheBatty » Sun Oct 27, 2013 2:09 pm

Granted. How are you enjoying your ride with from?

I wish the air conditioner wouldn't keep running all winter.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Sun Oct 27, 2013 2:35 pm

Granted, but by time it stops, it's in Mexico City.

I wish I had some bacon.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Sun Oct 27, 2013 3:16 pm

fromthehills wrote:Granted, but by time it stops, it's in Mexico City.

I wish I had some bacon.


Granted, you're now a pig, and those farmers by the smoke house are giving you a funny look.

I wish for one more season of 30 Rock.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Aztexan » Sun Oct 27, 2013 10:54 pm

Granted.

But the cast is replaced by those Jersey Shore idiots and they perform the show in pantomime but you're stricken blind so it evens out.

I wish I could go back in time and kill the specific dinosaur whose existence made the present possible thus altering the outcome of the Dallas Cowboys game today.
This is a sentence. tHi5 iz a seN+3nce oN drUgs!!!

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby OlegTheBatty » Sun Oct 27, 2013 11:23 pm

Granted. The specific dinosaur is killed before she could eat the specific dinosaur with the genetic mutation leading to higher intelligence, who, in turn, was the primordial Eve of the dinosaurs, who then built a star-spanning civilization that had no trouble deflecting Chicxulub into the sun. Since there are no humans, there are no Dallas Cowboys, and therefore, today didn't happen.

I wish Aztexan wasn't so sad.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby nmblum88 » Sun Oct 27, 2013 11:32 pm

OlegTheBatty wrote:Granted. The specific dinosaur is killed before she could eat the specific dinosaur with the genetic mutation leading to higher intelligence, who, in turn, was the primordial Eve of the dinosaurs, who then built a star-spanning civilization that had no trouble deflecting Chicxulub into the sun. Since there are no humans, there are no Dallas Cowboys, and therefore, today didn't happen.

I wish Aztexan wasn't so sad.


Granted: Aztexan is now deliriously happy…. the Dallas Cowboys DO exist and there is nothing anyone can do about that.. or about Texas either.

I wish … I wish…I wish….. I can't tell you what I wish.
It is, I am happy to say, entirely unseemly.

NMB
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" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby OlegTheBatty » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:03 am

Granted. From the clues provided, I am guessing that you wish to go on a twerking tour with Queen E II, hitting all the major legislative assemblies in the world.

I've no idea how to corrupt such a delightfully unseemly wish, unless it is making the mistake of driving yourselves to the airport in Riyadh, getting arrested and tossed into a dungeon.

I wish the kids on hallowe'en night were actually the things/people they dressed up as, just for the night.
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

There is no statement so absurd that it has not been uttered by some philosopher. - Cicero

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:08 am

OlegTheBatty wrote:Granted. From the clues provided, I am guessing that you wish to go on a twerking tour with Queen E II, hitting all the major legislative assemblies in the world.

I've no idea how to corrupt such a delightfully unseemly wish, unless it is making the mistake of driving yourselves to the airport in Riyadh, getting arrested and tossed into a dungeon.

I wish the kids on hallowe'en night were actually the things/people they dressed up as, just for the night.


Granted, and you are savaged by a child dressed as a tiger... which turn out to be the less friendly type of kitty.

I wish that Lou Reed would be remembered by young people for something other than, "The guy with that Playstation 4 ad song".
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby nmblum88 » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:46 am

OlegTheBatty wrote:Granted. From the clues provided, I am guessing that you wish to go on a twerking tour with Queen E II, hitting all the major legislative assemblies in the world.

I've no idea how to corrupt such a delightfully unseemly wish, unless it is making the mistake of driving yourselves to the airport in Riyadh, getting arrested and tossed into a dungeon.

I wish the kids on hallowe'en night were actually the things/people they dressed up as, just for the night.


Granted… for sure.
Because I am going out that night as Marilyn Monroe in body, and Mother Theresa from the neck up… and expect to be eyed lasciviously for my bottom AND revered despite my charlatanry for my top…. until the witching hour.

But what I really wish for is still…. well, let's just say it has nothing whatever to do with anyone else's rights or well being.
And may even be ignoble in the extreme.


Norma
Skepticism:
" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:06 am

nmblum wrote:
OlegTheBatty wrote:Granted. The specific dinosaur is killed before she could eat the specific dinosaur with the genetic mutation leading to higher intelligence, who, in turn, was the primordial Eve of the dinosaurs, who then built a star-spanning civilization that had no trouble deflecting Chicxulub into the sun. Since there are no humans, there are no Dallas Cowboys, and therefore, today didn't happen.

I wish Aztexan wasn't so sad.


Granted: Aztexan is now deliriously happy…. the Dallas Cowboys DO exist and there is nothing anyone can do about that.. or about Texas either.

I wish … I wish…I wish….. I can't tell you what I wish.
It is, I am happy to say, entirely unseemly.

NMB



Granted. Your clothes have lost their seams, and aren't holding together.

I wish I was a frog. So I could lick my own.....eye.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby nmblum88 » Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:20 am

fromthehills wrote:
nmblum wrote:
OlegTheBatty wrote:Granted. The specific dinosaur is killed before she could eat the specific dinosaur with the genetic mutation leading to higher intelligence, who, in turn, was the primordial Eve of the dinosaurs, who then built a star-spanning civilization that had no trouble deflecting Chicxulub into the sun. Since there are no humans, there are no Dallas Cowboys, and therefore, today didn't happen.

I wish Aztexan wasn't so sad.


Granted: Aztexan is now deliriously happy…. the Dallas Cowboys DO exist and there is nothing anyone can do about that.. or about Texas either.

I wish … I wish…I wish….. I can't tell you what I wish.
It is, I am happy to say, entirely unseemly.

NMB



Granted. Your clothes have lost their seams, and aren't holding together.

I wish I was a frog. So I could lick my own…..eye.

Granted.
Absolutely.
Because even a dirty YOUNG man should have a hobby.

I have everything else, but my unseemly wish remains my wish.

NMB
Skepticism:
" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:01 am

You are not playing fair, Norma. There are rules. This isn't Nam.

You are supposed to crush my wish, hopes and dreams, and decide on a new, superficial wish for someone to crush.I try to create bizarre scenarios, but these bastards usually just step on hope.

So: Granted. Your unseemly wish turns out to be a 400 pounder that likes to cross dress, and has a 1977 Dallas Cowboys cheerleader poster on the wall of his mother's basement, because thats where he resides.

I wish I could race Tony Dorsett now.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:03 am

fromthehills wrote:You are not playing fair, Norma. There are rules. This isn't Nam.

You are supposed to crush my wish, hopes and dreams, and decide on a new, superficial wish for someone to crush.I try to create bizarre scenarios, but these bastards usually just step on hope.

So: Granted. Your unseemly wish turns out to be a 400 pounder that likes to cross dress, and has a 1977 Dallas Cowboys cheerleader poster on the wall of his mother's basement, because thats where he resides.

I wish I could race Tony Dorsett now.


Granted, but in this race to the death, Tony wins by a landslide. Your death is neither quick, nor is it clean.

I wish that I still had a bit of lox left!
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby fromthehills » Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:10 am

Granted. Trouble with bothersome foreskin stains? Loxyclean. Just a little bit left in the bottle will do away with that troublesome foreskin, and make you a new you.


I wish... yeah, but Dorsett is old, and the only football player I remember being a fan of....
Alright, I wish for tomorrow to be Sunday, because {!#%@} work.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby nmblum88 » Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:15 am

fromthehills wrote:You are not playing fair, Norma. There are rules. This isn't Nam.

You are supposed to crush my wish, hopes and dreams, and decide on a new, superficial wish for someone to crush.I try to create bizarre scenarios, but these bastards usually just step on hope.

So: Granted. Your unseemly wish turns out to be a 400 pounder that likes to cross dress, and has a 1977 Dallas Cowboys cheerleader poster on the wall of his mother's basement, because thats where he resides.

I wish I could race Tony Dorsett now.


Forget about fair.
But whoever Tony Dorsett may be, your wish is granted.
No strings.
No crushing..
Which is more than can be said for yours to me….
What could I do with a 400 pound anything, never mind his taste in clothes?


I wish I had some control over my uncontrollable wish.
Nah… I don't really.
NMB
Skepticism:
" Norma, you poor sad lonely alcoholic. You entire life is devoted to interrupting other people's posts on this forum, regardless of the topic, to tell them what's wrong with them. The irony is, here you are doing it again, with this very post.
Your fanciful card games, movie sojourns and exciting overseas trips, that all take place within the four walls of an aged care retirement home, do not suggest your own children offered you the care, I gave my parents."

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scrmbldggs
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Location: sees Maria Frigoris from its house!

Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby scrmbldggs » Mon Oct 28, 2013 3:26 am

nmblum wrote:I wish I had some control over my uncontrollable wish.
Nah… I don't really.
NMB


Granted. You will lose all control and "go for it" with a vengeance - in public. And you'll be haunted by news crews from that day forward and forced to talk about your secret wish in front of cameras for weeks.

I wish my bills were paid.

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Daedalus
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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Daedalus » Mon Oct 28, 2013 3:35 am

scrmbldggs wrote:
nmblum wrote:I wish I had some control over my uncontrollable wish.
Nah… I don't really.
NMB


Granted. You will lose all control and "go for it" with a vengeance - in public. And you'll be haunted by news crews from that day forward and forced to talk about your secret wish in front of cameras for weeks.

I wish my bills were paid.


Granted, but now you owe the mafia a favor.

I wish I wish I had a fish.
"Propaganda is a monologue which seeks not a response, but an echo." (W.H. Auden)
"Given time and plenty of paper, philosophers can prove anything." (Robert Heinlein)
"The map is not the territory." (Alfred Korzybski)
“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?" (Bladerunner)


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