The Corrupted Wish Game

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The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Scrapheap » Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:21 am

The rules to this are simple.

You grant the wish of the person who posted above you.....with a twist. You add on the most creative negative consequences you can think up.

Example: I wish I won the lottery.

Granted!! Once you win, everyone who you ever screwed over in life sues you. You spend all your money in lawsuits and end up $1,000,000 in debt.

Once you grant their wish, you have to post a new one.

I'll start.

I wish I had a brand new Corvette.
I'm Autistic WTF is your excuse??

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby pyrrhic » Thu Nov 16, 2006 8:19 am

Drag-on-man wrote:.

I wish I had a brand new Corvette.



Granted..
But after driving a mile , the broken beer bottles you left on the other forum
will flat your tire and you will collide on a tree. Leaving you dead, you will be dragged,
out of car. Thus, drag-on-man..

What i wish is for an scholarship in MIT...
I don't believe in equality. It's just an idealizing envy!-- King Solomon

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby St. Jimmy » Fri Nov 17, 2006 1:22 pm

pyrrhic wrote:What i wish is for an scholarship in MIT...


Granted, but then you die of bad luck.

I wish for immortality and ever-lasting youth. (beat that)
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Electric Monk » Mon Nov 27, 2006 4:30 am

St. Jimmy wrote:I wish for immortality and ever-lasting youth. (beat that)

Granted. You are immortal, forever young, and burned daily as a witch. (Yeah, they know you're not a witch, but you're young and immortal, and they aren't, so they burn you anyway.)

I wish I was fireproof.

--James

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Postby St. Jimmy » Mon Nov 27, 2006 2:47 pm

The firemen enslave you to do all the hard work.

I wish I were never born.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

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Postby ifort » Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:01 pm

Granted, you were never born, but made as a robot and programed to serve a cult of woo's for an indefinite period of time.

I wish I don't get any spam, ever.
GOD is REAL unless declared INTEGER.

"I wish to propose for the reader's favourable consideration a doctrine which may, I fear, appear wildly paradoxical and subversive. The doctrine in question is this: that it is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatever for supposing it true."
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Postby pannarrans » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:42 pm

Granted, You'll never get spam, but the senders visit your house every day to tell you their messages personally.

I wish I wrote that novel.
"Sceptisism is about asking questions and not about producing answers. The quality of a possible answer is foremost dependant and always limited to the quality of the question.", mine

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Postby macros_man » Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:52 pm

pannarrans wrote:Granted, You'll never get spam, but the senders visit your house every day to tell you their messages personally.

I wish I wrote that novel.


Granted...

And your work becomes acclaimed... and your name, known around the world... but due to an editing snafu, and a media mishap, the world vastly misinterprets the meaning of your novel, and before you know it, you're the world's leading spokeswoman for christian values, and the religious right... and soon your novel ushers in a government-imposed religion on the entire united states.

... Now... I wish that I stumbled upon the mathematical theorem, which explained how all of our physical laws, as well as the universe itself, is actually an emergent property of abstract mathematical relationships...
The meaning of life... is to defer entropy

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Postby macros_man » Tue Nov 28, 2006 10:14 pm

Sorry... did I just ruin the levity of this exercise?...

I was just waiting for someone to ask... "Macros-man... are you ALWAYS on?!"
The meaning of life... is to defer entropy

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Postby JP » Tue Nov 28, 2006 10:33 pm

... Now... I wish that I stumbled upon the mathematical theorem, which explained how all of our physical laws, as well as the universe itself, is actually an emergent property of abstract mathematical relationships.


Granted. Somebody discovers the theorem and, in a moment of elation, sets their laptop computer down and runs around the block whooping like a banshee. You don't see the laptop, stumble upon the theorem, and end up flat on your livingroom floor with six weeks of back pain.

I wish I were in love.

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Postby ifort » Wed Nov 29, 2006 10:14 am

Granted, but before getting anywhere with her, you win a Living Darwin Award.

I wish I had a supercomputer at home. :D
GOD is REAL unless declared INTEGER.

"I wish to propose for the reader's favourable consideration a doctrine which may, I fear, appear wildly paradoxical and subversive. The doctrine in question is this: that it is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatever for supposing it true."
-Bertrand Russell

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Postby TehSadPandah » Wed Nov 29, 2006 12:17 pm

ifort wrote:Granted, but before getting anywhere with her, you win a Living Darwin Award.

I wish I had a supercomputer at home. :D


Granted, you love the supercomputer so much that you become addicted to it. Moves down to a basement and eat chips all day untill it stops working.

I wish i could turn back time.

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Postby Fester » Mon Jan 08, 2007 2:38 pm

TehSadPandah wrote:I wish i could turn back time.


granted!!

Scrapheap wrote:The rules to this are simple.

You grant the wish of the person who posted above you.....with a twist. You add on the most creative negative consequences you can think up.

Example: I wish I won the lottery.

Granted!! Once you win, everyone who you ever screwed over in life sues you. You spend all your money in lawsuits and end up $1,000,000 in debt.

Once you grant their wish, you have to post a new one.

I'll start.

I wish I had a brand new Corvette.


OH boy!! shoot!! i am god!! i really made the wish come true!! :heyup:
My donkey says... hee honk hee honk...

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Postby snooziums » Mon Jan 08, 2007 11:57 pm

Fester wrote:
TehSadPandah wrote:I wish i could turn back time.
granted!!
Scrapheap wrote:The rules to this are simple. ...


Yet, by granting that wish to turn back time, you must also go back in time to make sure it happened, and you find yourself trapped within the infinite loop, never to progress beyond it.

I wish that I could not have been born.
Reviewing the massive amount of unsubstantiated or anecdotal claims, testimony, non-validated observational data, and philosophical studies, they actually suggest the existence of such an entity as the "soul." Although it cannot be determined what it is or if it is factual or not, it is my personal belief that there may very well be something there, and that it is worth looking into.

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Postby ragman » Fri Jan 19, 2007 5:25 am

Granted!

Your retroactive wish sends you into an infinate temporal loop of being aborted.

I wish I knew how to know everything

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Postby Chaos » Mon Jan 29, 2007 6:30 pm

ragman wrote:Granted!

Your retroactive wish sends you into an infinate temporal loop of being aborted.

I wish I knew how to know everything


Granted!

... but you also know all the things you REALLY didn´t want to know about. Sylvia Browne´s sex life, for example.


I wish I wasn´t so lazy.

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Postby snooziums » Mon Jan 29, 2007 10:32 pm

Chaos wrote:... but you also know all the things you REALLY didn´t want to know about. Sylvia Browne´s sex life, for example.


Ewwwwww...!

Chaos wrote:I wish I wasn´t so lazy.


Granted...

However, you work yourself to death within three years.

I wish that I never came back to this planet in any future lives...
Reviewing the massive amount of unsubstantiated or anecdotal claims, testimony, non-validated observational data, and philosophical studies, they actually suggest the existence of such an entity as the "soul." Although it cannot be determined what it is or if it is factual or not, it is my personal belief that there may very well be something there, and that it is worth looking into.

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Postby St. Jimmy » Thu Feb 01, 2007 8:12 pm

snooziums wrote:
I wish that I never came back to this planet in any future lives...


Granted (no, really, you won't!).

Instead, after you die, you think you are dead. This makes you go completely insane. (Believe me I've had such an experience of thinking I were dead, yet remaining skeptical. {!#%@} scary.)

I wish I had genuine super-powers unexplained by science which could get me the Randi Million Dollars!
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

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Postby snooziums » Thu Feb 01, 2007 9:45 pm

St. Jimmy wrote:I wish I had genuine super-powers unexplained by science which could get me the Randi Million Dollars!


Granted!

You have the ability to predict the future. After some tests, you qualify for the challenge. You pass the test by predicting an event one day in advance (and waiting).

You are granted a check for a million dollars. As you walk to your bank to deposit it, some government officials walk up and force you into an unmarked white van. You are taken to a top-secret research lab, where you are subjected to many tests, and then forced to give predictions for the government under threat of harm to your family.

You spend the rest of your life in this lab working for the government without any chance of escape. The government uses your money to pay for new drinking fountains in all of its office buildings.

Interestingly, though, you predicted that this would happen, and also predicted that any other options would have had worse outcomes. Before you pass away (which you predict), you go completely insane (which you ALSO predict, and almost go insane knowing that you will go insane).

---

I wish that all religion vanished off the face of the planet.
Reviewing the massive amount of unsubstantiated or anecdotal claims, testimony, non-validated observational data, and philosophical studies, they actually suggest the existence of such an entity as the "soul." Although it cannot be determined what it is or if it is factual or not, it is my personal belief that there may very well be something there, and that it is worth looking into.

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Postby Bunk » Thu Feb 01, 2007 11:19 pm

snooziums wrote:---

I wish that all religion vanished off the face of the planet.


Granted, but now South Park's not funny anymore. You've just ruined the best show on Comedy Central. Athiests everywhere get angry and decide to crucify you.

I wish it would stop raining long enough for me to get to my car.
You think you have it bad? How'd you like to be Jesus' brother James? How many times do you think he heard his mother say "Why can't you be more like your brother?"

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Postby snooziums » Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:39 am

Bunk wrote:Athiests everywhere get angry and decide to crucify you.


Oh no, not again!

Bunk wrote:I wish it would stop raining long enough for me to get to my car.


Granted!

However, when you get out to your car, you find that the electrical wiring has shorted out, thus our car will not start at all.

---

I wish I knew why I choose to be born on this world in the first place...
Reviewing the massive amount of unsubstantiated or anecdotal claims, testimony, non-validated observational data, and philosophical studies, they actually suggest the existence of such an entity as the "soul." Although it cannot be determined what it is or if it is factual or not, it is my personal belief that there may very well be something there, and that it is worth looking into.

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Postby Major Malfunction » Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:41 am

snooziums wrote:I wish I knew why I choose to be born on this world in the first place...

Granted. But the reason is so distasteful you wish you never knew.

I wish someone would pay me bucket-loads of cash for playing computer games.
This being was produced using the same process as other beings, and therefore, may contain traces of nuts.

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Postby Articulett » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:59 am

Major Malfunction wrote:I wish someone would pay me bucket-loads of cash for playing computer games.


Granted--But the buckets are dumped upon you in a confetti like fashion every time you pass a level AND when you complete a game (all low denominations of course).

I wish it gave another human rapturous delight to be my housekeeper, personal assistant, and gopher...
If you can't understand; maybe it's you: http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp7761121.pdf

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Postby snooziums » Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:39 am

Articulett wrote:I wish it gave another human rapturous delight to be my housekeeper, personal assistant, and gopher...


Granted!

There is anther person that has delight in doing those chores for you. However, you do not find out that this person is also a crazed murderer... until it is too late...

I wish that the intelligence of every person on the planet was increased by 20 percent...
Reviewing the massive amount of unsubstantiated or anecdotal claims, testimony, non-validated observational data, and philosophical studies, they actually suggest the existence of such an entity as the "soul." Although it cannot be determined what it is or if it is factual or not, it is my personal belief that there may very well be something there, and that it is worth looking into.

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Postby Scrapheap » Sat Apr 07, 2007 10:58 pm

snooziums wrote:I wish that the intelligence of every person on the planet was increased by 20 percent...


Granted !!! But the intelligence of every animal gets increased by 20,000%

Humanity is now ruled by Gerbils.


I wish stupid people would quit having kids.
I'm Autistic WTF is your excuse??

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Postby snooziums » Sun Apr 08, 2007 12:22 am

Scrapheap wrote:I wish stupid people would quit having kids.


Granted!

However, in typical rebellion against their parents, the children of all of the smart parents vow to do stupid things and either get eliminated, or end up stupid themselves.

I wish that the English language used phonetically correct spelling for words (instead of just adapting words from other languages without changing their spelling over to English).
Reviewing the massive amount of unsubstantiated or anecdotal claims, testimony, non-validated observational data, and philosophical studies, they actually suggest the existence of such an entity as the "soul." Although it cannot be determined what it is or if it is factual or not, it is my personal belief that there may very well be something there, and that it is worth looking into.

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Postby Scrapheap » Sun Apr 08, 2007 5:58 am

snooziums wrote:I wish that the English language used phonetically correct spelling for words (instead of just adapting words from other languages without changing their spelling over to English).


Granted !!! we nau must spel Fish= Ghoti not to menshun thu fakt that thu hole langwage is phucked upe!!

I wish I wasn't blonde.
I'm Autistic WTF is your excuse??

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Postby St. Jimmy » Sun Apr 08, 2007 12:04 pm

Scrapheap wrote:
I wish I wasn't blonde.


Granted. You are now bald.

I wish for an enlightened dictatorship with me at the top.

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Postby Scrapheap » Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:59 pm

St. Jimmy wrote:I wish for an enlightened dictatorship with me at the top.


Granted !!! you are the proud Dictator of an Anthill !!! :lol:

I wish for Whirled Peas.
I'm Autistic WTF is your excuse??

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Postby jj » Fri Jun 01, 2007 5:27 am

Scrapheap wrote:
St. Jimmy wrote:I wish for an enlightened dictatorship with me at the top.


Granted !!! you are the proud Dictator of an Anthill !!! :lol:

I wish for Whirled Peas.


POOF! You are whirled peas. And the baby is really, really hungry.

I wish you had to change those diapers!
Why does an infallable book have to be constantly revised?

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby St. Jimmy » Thu Sep 06, 2007 1:11 pm

Granted, Scrapheap has to change the diapers.

Your diapers.


I wish for World Peace.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby T. A. Gardner » Thu Sep 13, 2007 10:52 pm

St. Jimmy wrote:Granted, Scrapheap has to change the diapers.

Your diapers.


I wish for World Peace.


Granted. This causes a huge unemployment problem when there is no need for militaries, police, or other similar occupations along with a shut down of arms industries. This leads to an world wide economic collapse which in turn leads to mass suicides of people causing the deaths and mass suffering of more people than war did in the last 1000 years.

Now for something completely different:

I wish everyone had to spend a week as the opposite sex they currently are......

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby St. Jimmy » Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:19 pm

T. A. Gardner wrote:I wish everyone had to spend a week as the opposite sex they currently are......


Granted.

An excessive number of people turn homosexual in disgust and the species dies off within 3 generations.

I wish for better TV.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby arromazam » Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:10 pm

........
I wish for better TV.



Granted
but for that, you have to move to England, were.......well you have to move to england

I wish you all get your wishes
"..There is another theory which states that this has already happend...."

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby St. Jimmy » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:25 pm

arromazam wrote:........
I wish for better TV.



Granted
but for that, you have to move to England, were.......well you have to move to england

I wish you all get your wishes


Thanks.

I'm done.

Incidentally I will be moving to England soon, but I already get English TV anyway.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby DeusEx_Humana » Mon Oct 08, 2007 3:03 am

St. Jimmy wrote:I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.


Granted!

But in your drunken stupor you wander into a hospital and are mistaken for a brain surgery patient, and you have a full frontal lobotomy!

I wish I could capture Bin Laden.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby ifort » Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:24 am

DeusEx_Humana wrote:I wish I could capture Bin Laden.

Granted! You do, but just after you do, his followers capture you, and kill you, over 3 days.

I wish I could fly.
GOD is REAL unless declared INTEGER.

"I wish to propose for the reader's favourable consideration a doctrine which may, I fear, appear wildly paradoxical and subversive. The doctrine in question is this: that it is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatever for supposing it true."
-Bertrand Russell

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby arromazam » Mon Oct 08, 2007 1:13 pm

I wish I could fly.


(A penguin who wants to fly, how sad)

ok Granted, but then at winter you fly up north, where is too darn hot for you, so you take off your feathers and get sold as an ugly turkey

I wish more girls were nimphomaniacs
"..There is another theory which states that this has already happend...."

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby Major Malfunction » Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:14 am

arromazam wrote:I wish more girls were nimphomaniacs

Granted. More blokes get more more often than you do.

I wish the budgets for science and war were switched vice versa.
This being was produced using the same process as other beings, and therefore, may contain traces of nuts.

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Re: The Corrupted Wish Game

Postby jj » Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:29 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:
arromazam wrote:I wish more girls were nimphomaniacs

Granted. More blokes get more more often than you do.

I wish the budgets for science and war were switched vice versa.


Poof. They are. The result is that war is a lot cheaper and more effective, and guess who every armed luddite on the planet blames for it? Sorry about that!

I wish that creationists would actually have to produce their "god" in court, and get he/she/it to testify about creation in a testable fashion.
Why does an infallable book have to be constantly revised?


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