Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

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Abdul Alhazred
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Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby Abdul Alhazred » Sun Oct 17, 2010 4:29 pm

Urban Myths - Watchtower Style
Free Minds (ex-Jehovah's Witnesses site)

I have omitted the non-Smurf content.

...

Around 1983 or 1984 Smurfs were the all the rage among the kids my age. Somehow stories got started and spread like wildfire about how the Smurfs were demonic. At first I wasn't allowed to watch the TV show because of the characters Gargamel, who was a wizard, and Papa Smurf who practiced magic, if memory serves. Then it became known that several JWs who had overlooked this and bought Smurf items began to have demon troubles.

The one I remember best is a story I related to my JW neighbor's grandmother, who was "worldly" (my mom was furious that I told her this story because she knew the grandmother would think we were all nuts; of course, my mom believed this story, so I guess we were nuts!)

Supposedly, a little girl had been given Smurf curtains for her bedroom and the first night the evil Smurfs were there, she awoke to find they had jumped off the curtains and began dancing around her room, laughing demonically.

...

Paul's Uncle Mark, who is an elder, told him about an occasion that apparently happened in his congregation involving a smurf doll. As the story goes, a new family who had just started studying, were attending the Saturday meeting with their young son. Half way through the meeting , the smurf doll apparentley stood up and declared, " I have had enough of this {!#%@}!" and walked out of the meeting on it's lonesome. So it seems even smurfs can detect crap when they hear it ! LOL!

...

A JW family decorated their son’s room with Smurf wallpaper. Shortly afterward they noticed that the kid was covered with tiny red marks one morning. Mom asked if he had felt any bugs in his bed. He said, “No, the smurfs come out of the wallpaper and bite me at night. In the daylight they’re cute and smiling but at night they have sharp teeth.” Those tricky blue devils! So Mom and Dad had to rip down the wallpaper and redo the room. And naturally the wallpaper wouldn’t burn without lots of gasoline.

...

Here's some true "smurf" stories (i myself witnessed):

Smurf Story 1: One fellow Witness woman I knew was very paranoid about the "demonic" nature of the Smurfs. Occasionally, she'd babysit for her neighbors (who were "worldly") and who often played with their kids in a "smurf" kiddie pool. The Witness woman never allowed the kids in the pool while she watched them, always feeling as if the pool might make the toddlers slip and fall or try to drown them.

Smurf Story #2: One Witness mother brought her 3 year old to the supermarket, where the baby always fussed, stuck sitting in the shopping cart. The woman left her child for a few seconds to grab things off the shelf. When she returned, her child had a 3 inch Smurf bendy toy. The good Witness mother immediately took the doll and put it aside, thinking her child grabbed it from somewhere. The taking of toy made the child cry of course, but the mother would not relent. However, over the course of the shopping trip, the child somehow gained access to the toy two more times. The third time, the mother realized that the doll was following her and her baby and that demonic forces were trying to possess the child. The mother grabbed her kid, left the cart and practically ran from the store. Later, I who was employed at the supermarket, discovered one the employees who was stocking shelves kept giving the child the toy so it wouldn't fuss so bad.

...


:pr:


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Last edited by Abdul Alhazred on Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:53 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby Monster » Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:49 pm

I wonder what was the point of making all those stories up.

This one, in particular, simply never occurred. So what was the point of making it up?

Paul's Uncle Mark, who is an elder, told him about an occasion that apparently happened in his congregation involving a smurf doll. As the story goes, a new family who had just started studying, were attending the Saturday meeting with their young son. Half way through the meeting , the smurf doll apparentley stood up and declared, " I have had enough of this {!#%@}!" and walked out of the meeting on it's lonesome. So it seems even smurfs can detect crap when they hear it ! LOL!
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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby Abdul Alhazred » Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:51 am

I believe that story is "real" in the sense that JWs spread it around among themselves as corroborating evidence of their faith. Not that it was official doctrine or to convince outsiders of course.

Whoever made up the story knew it was completely plausible (to JWs).
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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby Abdul Alhazred » Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:54 am

Every religion has its own gullibilities, right?

Some Catholics will believe apparitions of the Virgin and crying statue stories even in the absence of official endorsement (let alone evidences).

Some JWs will believe in demon possessed rebellious Smurfs. :pr:
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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby fromthehills » Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:05 pm

Great, now I have to burn my Smurf boxer shorts.

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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby Aztexan » Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:11 pm

I am writing this from the hospital burn ward. I already thought of that. Just be sure to take them off first.
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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby fromthehills » Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:12 pm

ruben lopez wrote:I am writing this from the hospital burn ward. I tried that. Just be sure to take them off first.


Good point, but it least it's not as bad as what those little critters could have done.

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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby Aztexan » Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:14 pm

Let's just say I smurfed myself when you said that.
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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby Gord » Tue Oct 19, 2010 3:57 pm

I've been throwing little plastic smurf figurines at the neighbour's dog for years, and they haven't done a thing to shut the little bugger up. He just eats them and craps blue poop. :evil:

That's the last time I take advice from my friend's JW father....
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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby OlegTheBatty » Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:58 pm

Gord wrote:I've been throwing little plastic smurf figurines at the neighbour's dog for years, and they haven't done a thing to shut the little bugger up. He just eats them and craps blue poop. :evil:

That's the last time I take advice from my friend's JW father....

See how evil them smurfs are?
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Re: Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Postby Abdul Alhazred » Sun Jun 03, 2018 8:37 pm

Aldous Huxley wrote:A government with a comprehensive plan for the betterment of society is a government that uses torture.


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