Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:16 pm

Poodle wrote:"Well we had it tough."
MP

Yeah, yeah. Lah Dee dah. This is the Oiling Gears thread. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Once I managed to stagger into my tent and lie down for a couple hours, pop some codeine pills and wash them down with a few cups of goon, I smelt a fire. So I stood up with much groaning, and shuffled to the communal fireplace with a tin of grub in hand, where I wagged my chin with a bunch of strangers until midnight.

We discussed life, the universe, and everything. Marvelled at the Milky Way, stared into the fire, saw a meteor skipping across the edge of the atmosphere, all agreed that this is the life, and retired, slept soundly, and rose early for a new day.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Poodle » Wed Feb 21, 2018 6:02 pm

I wasn't getting at you, MM - I envy your ability to do it. But it jumped into my mind as I read on ...

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Wed Feb 21, 2018 6:03 pm

Well, you were Insanely Gifted...

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:53 pm

Poodle wrote:I wasn't getting at you, MM - I envy your ability to do it. But it jumped into my mind as I read on ...

None given, none taken, mate. :)

But I don't know about my "ability to do it". I was really starting to wonder if I'd make it home. I over-extended myself a bit. It was just the fear of being left alone in the forest all night that kept me going. And in fact I did it on a porpoise to test my limits. Well, I found them. And the conclusion is I need to get fitter.

The one guy I passed all day was 60-something. He was powering along in his lycra and his walking sticks like it was an Olympic sport. He didn't even have any water on him!

I said, "G'day, mate! 'Ow's it gowan?" The smug old {!#%@} just smiled and kept powering on.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Wed Feb 21, 2018 8:20 pm

Poodle wrote:"Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife."
MP

"And kids these days think they have it tough!"
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Feb 21, 2018 8:58 pm

I wanna know about TJ's romantic trip down the coast... *wink wink. Nudge nudge. Say no more*
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:16 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:I wanna know about TJ's romantic trip down the coast... *wink wink. Nudge nudge. Say no more*


Who said romantic? Only in your dreams...

It was 330km round trip, which for milers is about 105 each way - and each leg took three and a half hours, with about 50% of the leg on expressway. So those portions which were not, were mostly slightly moving parking lots. The hot spring itself, was a once upon a time 5-star facility - back in the pre internet days, but now is a 2-star at best. The guests mostly geezers - like us. Still, the baths were first rate and the buffet meals were good - lots of long leg crab and free flow suds.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Matthew Ellard » Thu Feb 22, 2018 3:43 am

Phew

The twins were significantly statistically underweight three weeks ago. This caused tears and discussions about bringing them out early and further DNA testing. Today they both weigh a perfect 990 grams and 970 grams at 26 weeks and their physiology is all normal. We are going back to fortnightly ultrasound from weekly.

Trust me. That's good news.
:D

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:07 am

Tell Amanda to turn the dial up a notch. You don't want them under baked. :)
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:43 am

TJrandom wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:I wanna know about TJ's romantic trip down the coast... *wink wink. Nudge nudge. Say no more*


Who said romantic? Only in your dreams...

It was 330km round trip, which for milers is about 105 each way - and each leg took three and a half hours, with about 50% of the leg on expressway. So those portions which were not, were mostly slightly moving parking lots. The hot spring itself, was a once upon a time 5-star facility - back in the pre internet days, but now is a 2-star at best. The guests mostly geezers - like us. Still, the baths were first rate and the buffet meals were good - lots of long leg crab and free flow suds.

My trip was about 500 km round. Along the Great Ocean Road, my favourite road in the world. So I took my lid off, and let my little old sports car blow out some cobwebs. It's 25 years old, and only 105 kW, but boy, does it handle well. It sticks to the bitumen like hot tar on a summer's day. I've never been overtaken. I even overtook a new Mercedes convertible and left them far behind. They don't deserve that car.

But I had to bring my own water and ate out of tins. I brought 20 L, but I only used 5 L the whole 3 days (and about 3 L of goon).

The closest thing I had to a bath was when I had to take my boots off to cross a stream. It felt so good I just stood there in the middle and sighed with delight. Took out my lunch of crackers, tinned shredded chicken, and a banana, sat on the shore, dabbling my feet in the cool water, watching the schools of fish swimming about.

Now I feel like some sashimi. Well, I've arranged a date with a new chick next week to satisfy that very craving.

Life is good. :)
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Gord » Thu Feb 22, 2018 12:07 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:If you intend to strike, Gord, now is your chance.

Can't right now, my mobility scooter is in the shop.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Gawdzilla Sama » Thu Feb 22, 2018 12:42 pm

TJrandom wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:I wanna know about TJ's romantic trip down the coast... *wink wink. Nudge nudge. Say no more*


Who said romantic? Only in your dreams...

It was 330km round trip, which for milers is about 105 each way - and each leg took three and a half hours, with about 50% of the leg on expressway. So those portions which were not, were mostly slightly moving parking lots. The hot spring itself, was a once upon a time 5-star facility - back in the pre internet days, but now is a 2-star at best. The guests mostly geezers - like us. Still, the baths were first rate and the buffet meals were good - lots of long leg crab and free flow suds.

I went to Narita from Yokosuka on the USN bus once upon a time. I got the parts and got back on the bus. We made good speed until we got off the airport grounds and came to complete halt. One of the fresh meat asked petulantly if we couldn't go any faster. I gave the standard reply:

"We could, but we're supposed to stay with the bus."
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:07 pm

Indeed - as we oozed along we were often overtaken by bicycles. But given that the coastal road is mountainous, we would catch them on the rise, only to be overtaken again on the downside. It got ugly when we reached the toll booth, with the bicycle flying thru as we waited in line.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby OlegTheBatty » Thu Feb 22, 2018 7:34 pm

TJrandom wrote:Indeed - as we oozed along we were often overtaken by bicycles. But given that the coastal road is mountainous, we would catch them on the rise, only to be overtaken again on the downside. It got ugly when we reached the toll booth, with the bicycle flying thru as we waited in line.


Some things don't change. It was the same in 1970 when we drove from Shimonoseki to Tokyo.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Aztexan » Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:02 am

Just watched the US women's hockey team play the Canadians.
Thank you ladies for giving me something I haven't felt in a long time: national pride.

Spoiler:
they kicked their asses in a shootout for the gold!!!
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Fri Feb 23, 2018 3:38 am

I thought it was a free-for-all - hair pulling, sucker punches, kicks to the groin, ear biting, eye gouging... or was that another set of mobs?

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Aztexan » Fri Feb 23, 2018 3:45 am

No that was the daily white house press briefing
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Gord » Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:23 am

Aztexan wrote:Just watched the US women's hockey team play the Canadians.
Thank you ladies for giving me something I haven't felt in a long time: national pride.

Why, did they stomp on the Canadian flag? :heh:
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:26 am

@Gawd... you took that photo didn`t you!

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Aztexan » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:31 am

Gord wrote:
Aztexan wrote:Just watched the US women's hockey team play the Canadians.
Thank you ladies for giving me something I haven't felt in a long time: national pride.

Why, did they stomp on the Canadian flag? :heh:


I would have been more proud if they stomped on our flag.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:37 pm

Poodle wrote:"Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife."
MP
You forgot "walked barefoot to work in two feet of snow...uphill...both ways." :mrgreen:
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:38 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:And in fact I did it on a porpoise to test my limits.
How'd the porpoise handle it?
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Major Malfunction » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:46 pm

Nikki Nyx wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:And in fact I did it on a porpoise to test my limits.
How'd the porpoise handle it?

It flopped around and died. So I had to walk.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:03 pm

TJrandom wrote:It was 330km round trip, which for milers is about 105 each way - and each leg took three and a half hours...
This is how we measure distance in New England. We don't bother with miles. Or kilometers.

Tourist: "How far is it to Boston from here?"
Masshole: "About an hour and a half, unless you hit Boston during rush hour. In which case, anywhere from two to four hours, depending on traffic, accidents, weather, and road construction."
Tourist: "Yes, but how far is it?"
Masshole: "I just told you!"
Tourist: "No, in miles!"
Masshole: "Why do you want to know that? It won't help you." :mrgreen:

We also tend to give directions by landmarks, not street signs and distance.

Masshole: "Turn right off the Pike and stay in the right lane. At the first light, turn right, but take it easy; the street is curvy, hilly, and full of potholes. Follow that road to a four-way stop with a Sunoco on the right. Go straight until you come to another stop sign, then take a right. Just after you pass under the railroad bridge, it's on your left."
Tourist: "What are the street names?"
Masshole: "Why do you want to know that? It won't help you. Two of the street signs are missing."
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:06 pm

TJrandom wrote:I thought it was a free-for-all - hair pulling, sucker punches, kicks to the groin, ear biting, eye gouging... or was that another set of mobs?
You're thinking of roller derby. :P
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby gorgeous » Tue Feb 27, 2018 10:40 pm

no murder trial for me!!! discharged.. :D
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Tue Feb 27, 2018 10:44 pm

gorgeous wrote:no murder trial for me!!! discharged.. :D


That is what I call a no brainer... :roll:

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Aztexan » Tue Feb 27, 2018 10:56 pm

Did gorgeous kill someone?
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Matthew Ellard » Tue Feb 27, 2018 11:02 pm

gorgeous wrote:no murder trial for me!!! discharged..
You also claim you don't exist.

Your posts really are just confused ramblings.
:lol:

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Tue Feb 27, 2018 11:03 pm

gorgeous wrote:no murder trial for me!!! discharged.. :D
Told ya.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby gorgeous » Tue Feb 27, 2018 11:36 pm

Aztexan wrote:Did gorgeous kill someone?

---nooo...called for jury selection for a murder trial...
Science Fundamentalism...is exactly what happens when there’s a significant, perceived ideological threat to one’s traditions and identity.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Gord » Wed Feb 28, 2018 12:59 am

Nikki Nyx wrote:We also tend to give directions by landmarks, not street signs and distance.

I used to give directions based on 7-Elevens.

"Go down this street until you see a 7-Eleven on your right, then turn left. Go straight until you see a 7-Eleven on your left, and turn right. Go three blocks, then turn toward the 7-Eleven that you can see down the cross street. Drive past two more 7-Elevens until you come to a four-way stop sign with two 7-Elevens kitty-corner from each other, and turn towards the 7-Eleven with the burnt-out 7. Go around the bend, and you're there!"

There you go. Now you know how to get from the University of Winnipeg to the University of Manitoba if you're ever back in 1984 when those directions would have still worked. :mrgreen:

(Hell, I can't even give people directions to anyone's house anymore because they've closed down three of the 7-Elevens I was using as landmarks.)
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby TJrandom » Wed Feb 28, 2018 1:23 am

gorgeous wrote:
Aztexan wrote:Did gorgeous kill someone?

---nooo...called for jury selection for a murder trial...


Well, yea - by dismissal, they prevented you from doing so... ;)

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby scrmbldggs » Wed Feb 28, 2018 1:37 am

TJrandom wrote:@Gawd... you took that photo didn`t you!

Nah, the guy simply looks that goofy. :-P
.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Matthew Ellard » Wed Feb 28, 2018 2:03 am

Aztexan wrote:Did gorgeous kill someone?
gorgeous wrote: ---nooo...called for jury selection for a murder trial...
....but if you don't exist, as you claim, then how did they contact you? :lol:

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Poodle » Wed Feb 28, 2018 8:36 am

They left a message on the roof, visible only from above.

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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Gord » Wed Feb 28, 2018 11:40 am

Matthew Ellard wrote:
Aztexan wrote:Did gorgeous kill someone?

gorgeous wrote: ---nooo...called for jury selection for a murder trial...
.
...but if you don't exist, as you claim, then how did they contact you? :lol:

Asstrolly.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Wed Feb 28, 2018 2:58 pm

Gord wrote:
Nikki Nyx wrote:We also tend to give directions by landmarks, not street signs and distance.
I used to give directions based on 7-Elevens.
In New England, you can safely use Dunkin' Donuts. At last count, my city of 45,000 had nine of them. :mrgreen:
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Nikki Nyx » Wed Feb 28, 2018 3:01 pm

Gord wrote:
Matthew Ellard wrote:
Aztexan wrote:Did gorgeous kill someone?
gorgeous wrote: ---nooo...called for jury selection for a murder trial...
...but if you don't exist, as you claim, then how did they contact you? :lol:
Asstrolly.
"Ass Trolley" is a great moniker for Air Force One.
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Re: Wuts Oiling Your Girz Today

Postby Austin Harper » Thu Mar 01, 2018 5:04 pm


I just got confirmation from FIFA for my tickets to the World Cup and I've booked my flights. This will be my first trip to Russia and I'm really looking forward to it. I've been studying the Russian language for about two years already (self-guided with my fluent father helping me out when I have questions) but it's time to shift my studying into high gear to prepare.
Dum ratio nos ducet, valebimus et multa bene geremus.


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