What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Poodle » Fri Feb 24, 2017 7:39 pm

Yeah - last time I thought that (last September) a hornet stung me on the stomach. SHITTT!!!! ... that hurts.

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby TJrandom » Fri Feb 24, 2017 7:53 pm

One of my summer and autumn pastimes is taking out hornets - using traps and nets. Hundreds, probably not thousands - unless I find a nest, but I do make my mark on those flying about my honeybee hives. I haven`t been stung, but that day will surely come.

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Poodle » Fri Feb 24, 2017 9:11 pm

TJrandom wrote:One of my summer and autumn pastimes is taking out hornets ... ...


It may be an English turn of phrase, but now I have an image of you strolling along the promenade, arm in arm with a human-size hornet.

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby TJrandom » Fri Feb 24, 2017 10:29 pm

:lol: :lol: Yes, I now recognise, but hadn’t thought of that interpretation - obviously not meant in that sense...

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby bobbo_the_Pragmatist » Fri Feb 24, 2017 11:18 pm

Poodle: TJ did NOT say: "Shagging the Hornets." ((Not even: the Whores in Fishnets.))
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Poodle » Fri Feb 24, 2017 11:26 pm

How could you say that, bobbo? Neither TJ nor I mentioned shagging hornets,
Not on a first date, at least.

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Matthew Ellard » Sat Feb 25, 2017 1:48 am

The most painful sting I have experienced was swimming at a beach, as a child. I was standing in the water and saw some long bright blue cotton threads floating in the water which I picked up with both hands. It was a Portuguese Man o war, which is a jellyfish.
man o war.jpg


This, obviously, isn't my arm, however you can see the nature of the stings. There is nothing you can do. However, interestingly, in the 70s, beach lifesavers had blue thing, like a big blue teabag, called a "blue bag", that they carefully dabbed onto my hands and arms. My father explained to me that it didn't do anything but gave the lifesavers a way of calming me down by looking as though they were doing something. .
portuguese_man_of_war_sting2.jpg
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Matthew Ellard » Sat Feb 25, 2017 1:51 am

Poodle wrote:How could you say that, bobbo? Neither TJ nor I mentioned shagging hornets,
Not on a first date, at least.

I once screwed a girl who had a nasty tick. :D

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Gord » Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:33 am

Poodle wrote:
TJrandom wrote:One of my summer and autumn pastimes is taking out hornets ... ...

It may be an English turn of phrase, but now I have an image of you strolling along the promenade, arm in arm with a human-size hornet.

I had that image too. And he was using traps and nets.
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Gord » Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:35 am

Matthew Ellard wrote:
Poodle wrote:How could you say that, bobbo? Neither TJ nor I mentioned shagging hornets,
Not on a first date, at least.

I once screwed a girl who had a nasty tick. :D

Was her name Amanda and was the nasty tick named Matthew? :P
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby TJrandom » Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:24 am

My unproductive cat has taken on guard duty beneath a white blooming Camellia tree. I didn`t have a fruiter handy to transplant, so a flowerer will shade her. I do hope that she stays there and doesn`t decide to reincarnate as a wooist poster here. I`m not sure I could handle a Camelcat nutter.

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Sat Feb 25, 2017 9:39 am

I took my kids to the park today, and sat on a bench in the sun to read my book while they burnt-off some excess energy. It was fairly busy with kids and picnicking families. Then this one kid screams out, "Stalker! There's a stalker! You're a stalker! You're stalking me!" I look up from my book, and the little {!#%@} is pointing at me.

"I'm telling Mum!" he says. And the kid next to him turns and says, "She already knows."

FFS. What kind of world has this become?
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby TJrandom » Sat Feb 25, 2017 9:46 am

Woot! My little investment paid off. 8-)

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:45 am

Now I know who to blame! I thought it was because I've let my hair grow to my shoulders and haven't shaved for two weeks. Anyway, I threw my empty whisky bottle at him and he left me alone after that.
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby TJrandom » Sat Feb 25, 2017 4:56 pm

Yea... but not for long... :P

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Gord » Sun Feb 26, 2017 1:09 am

You shouldn't have been reading Stalking You Now in the children's park.

The reprehensible man sits in the restaurant. Laughing with his friends. Entertaining them with a story about his wretched behavior.

He doesn't know that somebody at another table is watching him. Somebody filled with hatred. Somebody waiting for him to be alone. Somebody with duct tape and a gun.

It's a night for vengeance. And a hell of a lot more.

That can't go well.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby OlegTheBatty » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:40 pm

Gord wrote:You shouldn't have been reading Stalking You Now in the children's park.

The reprehensible man sits in the restaurant. Laughing with his friends. Entertaining them with a story about his wretched behavior.

He doesn't know that somebody at another table is watching him. Somebody filled with hatred. Somebody waiting for him to be alone. Somebody with duct tape and a gun.

It's a night for vengeance. And a hell of a lot more.

That can't go well.

It could go well for one of them . . .
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Gord » Mon Feb 27, 2017 5:15 am

OlegTheBatty wrote:
Gord wrote:You shouldn't have been reading Stalking You Now in the children's park.

The reprehensible man sits in the restaurant. Laughing with his friends. Entertaining them with a story about his wretched behavior.

He doesn't know that somebody at another table is watching him. Somebody filled with hatred. Somebody waiting for him to be alone. Somebody with duct tape and a gun.

It's a night for vengeance. And a hell of a lot more.

That can't go well.

It could go well for one of them . . .

I doubt the waiter will be receiving any huge tips from any of the parties involved.
"Knowledge grows through infinite timelessness" -- the random fictional Deepak Chopra quote site
"You are also taking my words out of context." -- Justin
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Gord » Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:08 am

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-39099384

Judge Joseph Wapner, star of The People's Court, dies aged 97

No more minutes to Wapner. :(
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby JO 753 » Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:44 am

Thats 2 (Bill Paxton).

Hoo will be 3?
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby OlegTheBatty » Mon Feb 27, 2017 6:53 pm

JO 753 wrote:Thats 2 (Bill Paxton).

Hoo will be 3?


Do you mean this Hoo?
. . . with the satisfied air of a man who thinks he has an idea of his own because he has commented on the idea of another . . . - Alexandre Dumas 'The Count of Monte Cristo"

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby JO 753 » Mon Feb 27, 2017 8:00 pm

HA!

Frum hiz fasebook paje:
Mr. Hoo (aka Jeff Inlay) plays fun, mostly original music for kids and families. He is one half of The Alphabeticians, and the owner of Kid's Recording Studio.


You shoud brake the nyooz to him jently.
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:32 am

Matthew Ellard wrote:The most painful sting I have experienced was swimming at a beach, as a child. I was standing in the water and saw some long bright blue cotton threads floating in the water which I picked up with both hands. It was a Portuguese Man o war, which is a jellyfish.

I was stung by a jellyfish just a few years ago. I don't think it was a bluebottle, tho'. I dove into a wave and got wrapped up in something. At first I thought it was fishing line it was that tough, then I noticed it had all these little red beads along it... And that's when it started to hurt. It's a real nasty stinging/burning sensation, like being wrapped in hot wire. So I disentangled myself and ran whimpering up the beach to the showers, and stood in there for about 15 minutes, scrubbing furiously. The worst of the pain lasted about half an hour and left welts for a day or so.

There's a crazy guy on YouTube that goes around getting stung by the most painful things for shits and giggles.
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby scrmbldggs » Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:44 am

I bet it was something like that that made Jeebus walk on water...

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby TJrandom » Tue Feb 28, 2017 3:01 am

scrmbldggs wrote:I bet it was something like that that made Jeebus walk on water...


Or maybe a jetstream of piss to lift him out of it....

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Tue Feb 28, 2017 9:49 am

This being was produced using the same process as other beings, and therefore, may contain traces of nuts.

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Poodle » Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:29 pm

Grinding because you don't have one?

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The Flyboard / Not a hoax

Postby Matthew Ellard » Tue Feb 28, 2017 10:11 pm

Of general interest, the authenticity of Flyboard had caused a very long debate to arise on our sister ISF (JREF) forum.

One forum member, who first saw an early video of the Flyboard declared it was a hoax video and then decided that nothing would budge him from that position. More and more videos of the Flyboard in action were released and it became glaringly obvious that the Flyboard is both real and uses quite standard technologies. It is simply very well engineered.

The debate was interesting, as the hoax claimer systematically used every bad argument to continue to claim it is a hoax.

http://www.internationalskeptics.com/fo ... p?t=312432

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby scrmbldggs » Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:37 am

JO 753 wrote:Thats 2 (Bill Paxton).

Hoo will be 3?

A giant among... others

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Re: The Flyboard / Not a hoax

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Mar 01, 2017 3:14 am

Matthew Ellard wrote:Of general interest, the authenticity of Flyboard had caused a very long debate to arise on our sister ISF (JREF) forum.

Those little jet engines can put out upwards of a hundred pounds of thrust each. The Flyboard has four. That's more than enough thrust to lift a person.

The Guinness Book of Records has acknowledged it.

There's even a funny-looking micro jet plane...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAdCt6qgj9k
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:18 am

Poodle wrote:Grinding because you don't have one?

IKR? It's hard work trying to think of gripes.
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Thu Mar 09, 2017 8:47 am

The local council sent me a letter a month ago saying they were going to dig-up my driveway some time between now and 12 weeks. Something like that, thereabouts.

And today, without further warning, a bunch of earth-moving equipment landed on my lawn and dug a trench across my property.

I had important social plans that required the egress of a vehicle today. I was gonna get shagged.
Last edited by Major Malfunction on Thu Mar 09, 2017 9:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby TJrandom » Thu Mar 09, 2017 8:55 am

In that case, I would have begged, borrowed, or stole some earth moving equipment myself, and filled it back in... even if the time it took to do so messed up my social plans. OR, maybe just `planked` it and drove over it. What did you do?

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Thu Mar 09, 2017 9:02 am

Well... I coulda caught a train, but I decided to just stay home and write a post here.
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby TJrandom » Thu Mar 09, 2017 9:13 am

While they weren`t looking - you might have borrowed their crew truck... :evil:

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Thu Mar 09, 2017 9:55 am

I borrowed a steamroller once, but that's a whole 'nother story.
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby TJrandom » Thu Mar 09, 2017 10:21 am

Major Malfunction wrote:I borrowed a steamroller once, but that's a whole 'nother story.


One of these? :roll:

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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Thu Mar 09, 2017 11:05 am

TJrandom wrote:
Major Malfunction wrote:I borrowed a steamroller once, but that's a whole 'nother story.


One of these? :roll:

Nah. I was 8yo and found the key to a steamroller on a construction site. Obviously I'd start it up and drive it around. What 8yo wouldn't?
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Major Malfunction » Thu Mar 09, 2017 4:16 pm

The real problem was when I realised I didn't know how to stop it.

Apparently, according to my mother, when I was 3 I nicked her keys, got into her car, started it, released the handbrake, and rolled down the driveway into the main road.
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Re: What's Grinding Your Gears Today?

Postby Gord » Thu Mar 09, 2017 8:28 pm

Major Malfunction wrote:...today, without further warning, a bunch of earth-moving equipment landed on my lawn and dug a trench across my property.

Did you try lying down in front of the bulldozer, Mr. Dent?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDYWdABRQIo

Major Malfunction wrote:Apparently, according to my mother, when I was 3 I nicked her keys, got into her car, started it, released the handbrake, and rolled down the driveway into the main road.

My nephew did that with his family's car. They had a steep driveway, so the car picked up enough momentum to cross the neighbour's lawn and crash into the brick border of their flower garden right beneath their picture window.
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